How to Photograph your Puppy

1. Remove film from box and load camera.

2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

3. Remove puppy from trash.

4. Mount camera on tripod and focus.

5. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.

6. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.

7. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.

8. Get tissue and clean nose print off lens.

9. Put cat outside and put peroxide on scratch on puppy's nose.

10. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.

11. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.

12. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No!".

13. Clean up mess.

14. Resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" first thing in morning!

- submitted anonomously